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Capsule

Times of pain and suffering have typically led me to express myself through my writing and more recently through recordings. When I was beat down, exhausted, with really nothing left to give I found refuge in writing and recording. Despite feeling down and out I have consistently tried to put some kind of ‘spin’ on my reflections. I have tried to deduce the underlying wisdom born out of my pain and restlessness. Ultimately as an exercise to give me the guidance I need to live through the battles to come, most of which are in some strange way, or seem to be, self-inflicted.

For me, philosophical concepts and thought bubbles draw me in. In one way I’m attempting to answer them and push aside other people’s opinions on the matter. But yet that doesn’t really sit well with me. What I am also trying to do is think through something.

I think a lot of people lie to themselves when they think about why they do what they do. It isn’t my underlying philosophy that I’m doing my part for the greater good that drives me. Quite honestly, I’m just seeing where the wind will take me. And it’s very much the same with with this capsule. It’s not my deductions driving me, as I insinuated – “to live through the battles to come.” My mind gravitates to places I find interesting and more importantly very, very rarely have the opportunity to express.

Writing has been a back-up plan of sorts and this is most evident in my recent novel Patient Doctor Privilege. It was really the last call to decipher my past in an attempt to prevent further manic episodes, which typically end with catatonic suicidality, because what goes up must come down. However, I want to channel my creativity to be more proactive and that’s where this capsule comes in.

I’ve played around with a few mediums and I think having somewhere to put my body of work, aka - this website, will prove to be beneficial to me and I hope my audience.
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